Pet peeves are by nature somewhat trivial, or at least they seem so when they first occur to us. Yet, it appears that in the modern era, our own pet peeves, which we are initially reluctant or embarrassed to share, turn out to be a peeve of nationally identified concern. We discover that our pet peeves are in the process of forming some large gigantic cultural movement that you knew nothing about until you became a latent peever and peeve sharer. Peeving is also becoming financially important since fixing some of our pet peeves can add up to a huge price tag of savings and dealing with them can also have many other consequences, especially if one considers the long-term effects of letting our peeves fester until we get some kind of unidentifiable skin rash.
Clearly, we have reached a cultural state where a lot of pet peeves, if properly identified and fixed, could save us resources and produce a more contented and relaxed state of mind. Peeves used to tell us something about ourselves, but more and more they tell us something about our culture, our nation–we are more and more becoming a nation bound together by our wounds, or, more accurately our peeves; it is surprising how one’s own set of peeves, once considered to be highly private and diverse, are now shared by giant swaths of our population and in some cases have reached a state of international recognition and concern. Many people are experiencing that their own pet peeves are fast becoming nationally favorite peeves, and as such, they represent issues that we are no longer ashamed to share and now believe they could in fact help shape the nation’s future, if dealt with properly. It would seem natural that peeve help groups are either formed or being formed as we consider what they really are. So peeves are no longer the trivial exercises we used to conceal to ourselves in a dark corner of a closet. Here are eight pet peeves, that I believe we don’t need to hear about or see again, or better yet, insofar as they identify fractures in the cultural fault line, they need to be repaired and then moved out of sight:
1) We need to eliminate advertisements from investment firms implying that if we had invested with them we would still be making money (the only people who avoided losses were those that put it in their mattress–Treasury bills are mattress-like);
2) We need to eliminate drug company ads making up new diseases that can be treated with a brand new pill you need to tell your doctor about–like men urinating too frequently because they have presurgical prostatism (if you have to go to the bathroom before half-time you probably had too much beer–we should insist on product labeling derived from honesty in advertising, like “This medication treats a disease that was recently invented in the laboratories of the Mercantile Drug Company”);
3) We don’t need drug company ads describing new medicines that erase the deficiencies of your anti-depressant which probably didn’t work too well for you (they didn’t work very well because for the last thirty years, we have been building a depressing country and its equally depressing companion economy in which our children have a hard time making a decent living–yes iPods get cheaper, but the cost of owning a home (until recently), keeping your health insurance, college education–the things that really count for young people have been going up far faster than inflation. In this case product labeling could be “Recent events have raised the possibility that your brain chemistry is poorly tuned to meet the modern demands of our emerging culture. For that reason, we recommend that you take this anti-depressant supplement in addition to your normal anti-depressant to create a more modern, balanced brain chemistry, suitably tuned for the new contemporary lifestyle that includes poverty, war, terrorism and frequent urination or incontinence”;
4) We need to eliminate Banks who get $ billions in public bailout that then turn around and jack up the interest rates on credit cards (we need to restore the old-fashioned usury laws that prevented financial institutions from making money off of lower income people–like most of America);
5) We need to change the government cost of living index that tells us we should all feel great about our economic prosperity, because our pay raises have been beating their convoluted evaluation of inflation, which misses or distorts the most important inflationary components of our lives (food, energy, education costs, housing). We need a real, simple, honest and transparent cost of living index that hits us all correctly right in the middle of the gut. We will know it when we feel it! We have to recognize that the cost of living for a young person is far higher than it is for people who already have their education, home and some health insurance.
6) We need to eliminate commercials by oil companies telling us to save on energy costs and look for new alternative modes of energy in the future, while, at the same time, these same companies invest almost nothing in energy research on alternative fuels and continue to make the vast majority of their profits from good old fashioned fossil fuel extraction;
7) We need to eliminate notices that blame Americans for being obese when the foods and beverages available, including fast foods, contain so much fat and so many calories, that obesity is not only predictable for many, but rather hard to avoid. Let’s put a little blame on the kinds of foods that we make available to our children (soda pop machines in the school hallways, each 12 oz can of which contains enough sugar to promote Type II diabetes in young adulthood when a single can of pop is consumed each day–that data comes from a World Health Organization (WHO) report, whose release in this country was virtually ignored by our media). How about product labeling on a Coke–”warning, consumption of this product can lead to diabetes and premature death.”
We don’t need anymore news reports that tell us Bernie Madoff is doing just fine living in his multimillion dollar mansion where he will remain until his trial is over, perhaps in a zillion years from now. I suppose it would be useful to know that, if he is broke, as reports seem to indicate, is the Federal Government paying his property taxes or mortgage payment if he has one? That’s the sort of news we might like to hear about–a little more about what it’s costing taxpayers and a little less on whether Bernie is enjoying himself and making new friends. If the taxpayers are putting up $ for his maintenance, perhaps he could move into more appropriate quarters to cut down on costs. He hasn’t been convicted yet, so you can’t throw him in jail unless he is a flight risk. I don’t know how many floors above Earth’s surface Bernie’s pad is, but isn’t jumping out a window a flight risk?
The above are pet peeves for juvenile peevers or peeve starters, including those who are brand new to pet peeve sharing; as you can see they barely scratch the curvature of the peeve surface, but they are suitable for beginners. They relate to some of the things we don’t need to hear about ever again, or, better yet, they describe some things that need serious (and not so serious) fixing. Undoubtedly you have a list of your own. If so, feel free to pile on! Many of the above peeves could be eliminated if we all watched C-Span.
RFM
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